Part of this journey for me has been learning and accepting that there are things I have always wanted that just aren't possible. Lifelong hopes and dreams have been eliminated by scleroderma, a terminal prognosis and lungs that just won't stop scarring. Having a baby or buying my own home are completely out of the realm of possibility.
I have recently read tons of FB updates about friends getting pregnant, having babies, getting married, buying a new home, and starting new jobs. I have been genuinely happy for each of them but I would be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that feels a sting each time I read them. There are all of these huge milestones in life that any normal person strives to reach and they just aren't going to happen for me. And that makes me sad sometimes.
Soooooo, instead of feeling sad, I dream about other things. And I made a list. It's a list of things I very much want to do and as of right now, am still able to do. It's not a list of EVERYTHING but it's a great start. These things are not in order of importance and I know some of these items may seem ridiculous to some and out of reach to others, but they're MY dreams and I can hope for them if I want to.
Beth's Bucket List
-Spend a week in Florence, Italy
-Visit a luxury spa for a day of pampering
-Ride the El in Chicago
-See Mary J Blige in concert
-Go to an NBA game (preferably a good team and not the Pacers)
-Eat a hot dog from a street vendor in Chicago and NYC
-Take a carriage ride in a large city
-Eat at a five star restaurant
-Have one more first kiss
-Watch Emily, Claire, Erin and Rachel wrestle a pig
-Go to the baseball Hall of Fame
-Sit in the Chicago Cubs dugout
-See a broadway musical
-Try Moroccan and Ethiopian food
-Be in a commercial or an extra in a movie (no acting please)
-Meet a member of the Indianapolis Colts
-Live to see Hannah Beth Scott graduate high school
-Attend an Olympic event
-Ride a passenger train