Loving With Intent

I'm in my third night of a short "vacation", as I'm calling it, to visit a friend in Nashville. I plan to leave tomorrow and head back home but can't seem to fall asleep as my mind is so full. I was thinking about all the running I've been doing lately: the short roadtrips, the dinners, concerts, movies, nights out with friends, shopping trips, etc. And I suddenly realize what I haven't been mindful of...my need to just experience feels urgent. Experience any and everything. If I'm totally honest, I feel hopeful the transplant will be a great success and deep in my heart I feel I have a lot of life left to live. However, I understand the reality. There are no guarantees here. I am not promised old age...or even middle! So knowing the transplant will begin within the next month, has moved me to action. Action in everything but maybe the most important thing.

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with an old college friend and we were talking about the fundraising and all the money that had been given and all the hard work that had gone into each event. She stopped and said, "Doesn't it make you feel good to know you're so loved?" I told her I did but then I told her that in a way it made me sad that I had to get sick to realize it and how we should all, myself included, be more intentional with our love. So, I've been sitting here thinking back about my weekend and all the fun I've had and the great things I've experienced and it hits me how many opportunities to love people I've missed.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not beating myself up unnecessarily. I do believe that in general, I'm a nice person. I try to be kind and understanding and forgiving. But I'm talking about doing more. There are many times where if I weren't so caught up in myself or just plain lazy, I'd love people in actions so much more. I know I'd be well served to think of others more often, work to meet others needs and be more understanding and accepting of differences.

I have amazing family and friends who show me how loved I am all the time...and in little ways. I get dropped off at the door. I get my chair carried for me to Shakespeare in the Park without even asking for help. I get my cans or bottles opened so I don't injure my fingers. I get an extra blanket or jacket when I'm cold. I get phone calls, letters, cards and emails just to see how I'm doing. The people who love me, do it well.

I'd like, myself, to be this way all the time. I want to recognize opportunities to love and encourage and I want to take advantage of them. I wish we all would. I believe being mindful of people outside of myself will make my life better. I believe God feels this way too and I'm thankful He's put so many great teachers in my life.