I don't wanna shake your hand. Just wave.

Mom and I drove to Nashville today to see my doctor at Vanderbilt. I have an update and somewhat good news. The thing is, before I started going through all of this, I didn't get a lot of this lingo and there's no way I would have understood most of what I'm going to tell you. So, I'm gonna tell you what the deal is, and then make it as simple as possible for those of you who aren't medically minded and are more like I was pre-scleroderma.

So, here's the deal, pickle. My rhematologist, who is the doctor that will treat me for scleroderma, is referring me to a pulmonologist to address my pulmonary hypertension issues. She'd like me to see a pulmonologist at Vanderbilt that sees only patients with pulmonary hypertension. So, this guy knows most all there is to know about it and exactly what it is I'll need. Hopefully, I'll get in to see him in the next few weeks.

In addition, we discussed and agreed that I will begin taking a drug called CellCept. CellCept is an immunosuppressant and is used as an anti-rejection drug in organ transplant patients. I'm taking the drug in hopes that it will address my pulmonary fibrosis and inflammation. My doctor told me today that she has a few patients who are currently taking it and have stabilized. That means that they aren't necessarily better, but they haven't gotten worse either. As you can imagine, this is quite attractive to me given my options. I've been told that most people tolerate it pretty well with few side effects and IF it works, could definitely buy me some time.

The down side to this? Well, two things really. First, the cost. Recently they have come out with a generic for this drug, which is great! The unfortunate part is that even the generic is incredibly expensive. The plan is, let's try it and see if it works then we'll worry about how to pay for it long term. (Plus, I'll apply for assistance with the manufacturer.) Second, the immunosuppression aspect. I'm gonna have to, in part, go against my nature and chill with the physical affection. I have to begin to be more aware of putting myself in situations where I can easily get sick. Less crowds, less handshakes, less hugs...not just because it's flu season and having crappy lung function mixed with the flu is a terrible combo, but also because the drug will make me more susceptible to infection. Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna do what I want and go where I want, I'm just gonna be more mindful of higher risk situations. I guess I'll have to go with more smiles, winks, thumbs up, pats on the back and blowing my kisses.

Overall, things feel a little brighter these days. I still have diffuse systemic sclerosis. It still sucks. I still have hope. Period.